When you decide you want to become pregnant all you can think of is…..well….you get my point!
All the baby books I purchased, read and re-read DID not prepare me for what parenting actually is. The love you have for your child(ren) is like no other. You would risk everything and anything for them and that my friends is why it’s so hard.
Babies are so cuddly and they need you to do everything for them. You can’t understand their cries but you learn to recognize what they may need based on habit and repetition. There are many sleepless nights but it’s a time where you just do and it passes so quickly. Before you know it, they are talking back to you and outsmarting you. Yeah…..this is what I am dealing with right now!
No book prepared me for all the stages of parenting, not to mention your different kids personalities. I think all parents can agree with me when I say, no kid is the same and you cannot compare them. You can’t even parent the same way because what works for one does not work for the other. I think parents are the most resilient creatures. We have to nourish, raise, discipline, love, be patient with our kids and sometimes all we want to do is be a kid again! That innocent little baby WILL grow up to be a reflection of you. Read that again. So talk about pressure. Not only do we need to raise these creatures, we need to be on our best behaviour??? Talk about one tough job!
So here is the part where I actually get deep. I am not proud of many parenting moments. I have lost my cool way too many times. I have slipped one too many swear words. I have been grumpy, rude, exhausted and even selfish at times. I know I am not alone. This is the stuff books do not talk about. They don’t give you instructions on what to do if you lost your s*** and feel guilty. They don’t tell you how to speak to your kids when you are pissed at them. They don’t tell you how to be present when you have a million and one things on your plate. But I am here to tell you…..it will be ok.
Think back to a time when your parents lost their cool and you were like…..”Whoa mom/dad is pissed, we better hide!” Did you still love your parents? Did you grow up to be a good human? I hope your answers are yes! Point is that as much as we want to be the “perfect” parent, I believe in transparency. When I lose my s**** I go an apologize to my kids and let them know I should have used a different approach and explain to them why I am upset. We forgive our kids for acting out so why can’t our kids forgive us? I think it can strengthen a relationship when it’s built on honesty and trust. I trust that my kids will recognize my faults and forgive them because I was honest with them why I acted that way.
BUT, there is a major but. This does not give you the escape route to act out all the time and ask for forgiveness. Kind of like the boy who cried wolf way too many times. Being sincere and honest with your kids and owning up to your mistakes takes guts. But you need to make the changes so you can keep your cool. If this means you ‘take 10’, ‘go for a drive/walk’, ‘write down your thoughts’ before speaking with them, than do it. This will take time and patience-and that’s what the info books are missing. It’s not all unicorns and rainbows. It’s more like rainbows, clouds, thunderstorms, sunshine, and repeat!
But one thing will remain through all the ups and downs of parenting. It’s bloody rewarding. Watching your kids grow up and be responsible, win awards, excel in sports/academics, be good humans is the best feeling. It washes away all the tough times to get to that point for both parties. Maybe that’s why people have multiple kids!
If you have taken anything away from this, please remember that it’s ok to make mistakes. Own up to them and make changes. That is a lesson well worth passing on to your kids.
Love and patience to all my parents out there!
#parenting #reallife #resilience #discipline #honesty #transparency #hard #familylife